There was an error in the article that ran on the ooze last week. The divorce rate is not close to 50% for either Christians or non-Christians, more like 33-34% for each. I stand corrected and thankful to the person who pointed that out to me. Check out the links below for more info:
barna.org
http://www.christianitytoday.com/mp/7m2/7m2046.html
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Thursday, March 16, 2006
I've published another article on theooze.com It's under the reviews section. Your comments are welcome.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Book Review: “Urban Tribes” by Ethan Watters
I’ve been waiting a while to get this review out. I finally finished the book this weekend and will highlight the main points below:
The premise of the book is that while twenty and thirty somethings are delaying marriage and forsaking family at alarming rates, all is not lost. They survive by forming tight-knit circles of friends (tighter than any family I have encountered) which them becomes and replaces their family. The friends understand them better, provide more support, and are not as judgmental as the family.
He makes a comment that supports a comment I made a while back here that challenged a popular author’s comments of the amount of classism that exists in America. Watters writes, “ Raised during a time of remarkable wealth, our potential has always felt unlimited. We could be anything we wanted, our parents had told us from birth, and we believed them almost too well…Not long ago, the course of one’s life would, in all likelihood, be an expression of one’s class and group membership. How exciting that we had the freedom to shape our lives to be an expression of personal character.” (9)
Much of his study revolved around the functioning of the tribes, how did they live and what did they do? I couldn’t help but think throughout how the Church, in reality, needed to function as a tribe. Look at the following traits:
- Every tribe member has their role. While one member may become sort of a de facto leader, it is not a hierarchical sort of membership at all, this leader’s role is simply more of an organizer and is no more important to the tribe than any other member – see senior pastor
- Many tribes told stories of pooling money together to send another member on a vacation, send them home to visit family over the holidays, staying over at a house to watch them in time of need, visit in the hospital, attend funeral as show of support, etc. Aren’t we called to take care of the body of Christ as such?
- A man named Nikolas was a member of his tribe in San Francisco and was sort of an expert at blown glass creations. He had received a large contract to create some glass figures for a large hotel in the city, though the technology he was counting on had not been created, it was up to him to create it. Obviously throughout that year Nikolas endured a lot of stress and failure was right around the corner. However, Watters writes, “If he had lost his gamble-lost his enormous investment and failed at his shot in the big leagues-he could have come back into his group of friends every bit as valued as he had been before. How often do we value members of the local body simply on their job or what they offer to us rather than their inherent value as a creation of God?
- He talks about the Critical Mass movements that happened across San Francisco and other large cities around the world where large masses of bicyclists would gather and ride the city to protest something, bring the city to a halt in some cases. It was also frustrating to the city bureaucrats who wanted to appease the protestor’s demands or set out a route for them to follow. There was no leader and it spread through word of mouth or mass emails inviting all to attend. This reminds me of the post-modern church, no leaders, kind of a hodge-podge of ideas, outsiders trying to organize it, yet we won’t let it happen. Our goal is to stay true to the calling of Christ and love Him and His people as best we can.
- Toward the end he begins to write more on connectedness and love, and his travels take him to the American Association of Single People where he meets a man named Coleman who was it’s President. Through the course of his interview with Coleman he notices a grossly overweight man named Cliff stuffing envelops with a few others at the table. He got involved because he was lonely and saw an ad in the paper for the organization, called, found out they could use some help, so he joined in. He also helped with a smokers rights group and he didn’t smoke. But the big thing Watters noticed was that though Cliff would “never be the poster boy for the AASP, Coleman, Michael, and Kat were kind to him, and so as least for today Cliff might feel the stereotype of his single life lift a little.” The people at AASP made Coleman feel welcome, feel special, isn’t that the role of the church? Do you think Cliff ever dreamed of going to the church to feel special? Why not?
- Finally, Washington Post columnist Jeanne Marie Laskas wrote about her experience in the tribe, noting that she “saw that the possibility for humiliation existed in every aspect of her life except for one: her tribe of friends she called ‘the Babes.’ Within that context, she felt no expectation that she had to be continuously smart or attractive or ‘on.’ In fact, when she was around her friends, she felt she didn’t have to do anything at all… ‘No one is going to going to judge me if I just sit here daydreaming.’ That is what the Babes are all about. The freedom to just be.” May the church accept God’s people and love them in this way.
I have to add one more funny note from this book. Watters goes on this tangent about evolutional psychology and how it explains the differences between men and women when it comes to commitment and marriage. One thing I found interesting is how the two sexes differ in this views on sex and multiple partners. He notes that on average, women prefer eight-tenths of a sexual partner per month, one over a year, two in three years and five in a lifetime. Men prefer two partners a month, five in a year, ten over three years, and twenty in a lifetime.
When it comes to how long you have to know someone before having sex, the studies show that women had to know someone six months before having sex. For men it was a week.
Finally, the “amount of time before sex for women bottomed out at a week, meaning no woman reported wanting to have sex with an attractive man after knowing him for less than one week. The men’s curve, on the other hand, never bottomed out. There were many men who reported than they would be willing to consent to sex at the one-hour mark.” Even more funny is that Watters then theorizes that the one-hour mark was too long, why not go down to a second or increments thereof. In fact, he thinks that some men might agree to sex before having met an attractive woman, or even “some men would have consented to sex with an attractive woman, unilaterally and for all future time, somewhere back in high school.” CRAZY!
I’ve been waiting a while to get this review out. I finally finished the book this weekend and will highlight the main points below:
The premise of the book is that while twenty and thirty somethings are delaying marriage and forsaking family at alarming rates, all is not lost. They survive by forming tight-knit circles of friends (tighter than any family I have encountered) which them becomes and replaces their family. The friends understand them better, provide more support, and are not as judgmental as the family.
He makes a comment that supports a comment I made a while back here that challenged a popular author’s comments of the amount of classism that exists in America. Watters writes, “ Raised during a time of remarkable wealth, our potential has always felt unlimited. We could be anything we wanted, our parents had told us from birth, and we believed them almost too well…Not long ago, the course of one’s life would, in all likelihood, be an expression of one’s class and group membership. How exciting that we had the freedom to shape our lives to be an expression of personal character.” (9)
Much of his study revolved around the functioning of the tribes, how did they live and what did they do? I couldn’t help but think throughout how the Church, in reality, needed to function as a tribe. Look at the following traits:
- Every tribe member has their role. While one member may become sort of a de facto leader, it is not a hierarchical sort of membership at all, this leader’s role is simply more of an organizer and is no more important to the tribe than any other member – see senior pastor
- Many tribes told stories of pooling money together to send another member on a vacation, send them home to visit family over the holidays, staying over at a house to watch them in time of need, visit in the hospital, attend funeral as show of support, etc. Aren’t we called to take care of the body of Christ as such?
- A man named Nikolas was a member of his tribe in San Francisco and was sort of an expert at blown glass creations. He had received a large contract to create some glass figures for a large hotel in the city, though the technology he was counting on had not been created, it was up to him to create it. Obviously throughout that year Nikolas endured a lot of stress and failure was right around the corner. However, Watters writes, “If he had lost his gamble-lost his enormous investment and failed at his shot in the big leagues-he could have come back into his group of friends every bit as valued as he had been before. How often do we value members of the local body simply on their job or what they offer to us rather than their inherent value as a creation of God?
- He talks about the Critical Mass movements that happened across San Francisco and other large cities around the world where large masses of bicyclists would gather and ride the city to protest something, bring the city to a halt in some cases. It was also frustrating to the city bureaucrats who wanted to appease the protestor’s demands or set out a route for them to follow. There was no leader and it spread through word of mouth or mass emails inviting all to attend. This reminds me of the post-modern church, no leaders, kind of a hodge-podge of ideas, outsiders trying to organize it, yet we won’t let it happen. Our goal is to stay true to the calling of Christ and love Him and His people as best we can.
- Toward the end he begins to write more on connectedness and love, and his travels take him to the American Association of Single People where he meets a man named Coleman who was it’s President. Through the course of his interview with Coleman he notices a grossly overweight man named Cliff stuffing envelops with a few others at the table. He got involved because he was lonely and saw an ad in the paper for the organization, called, found out they could use some help, so he joined in. He also helped with a smokers rights group and he didn’t smoke. But the big thing Watters noticed was that though Cliff would “never be the poster boy for the AASP, Coleman, Michael, and Kat were kind to him, and so as least for today Cliff might feel the stereotype of his single life lift a little.” The people at AASP made Coleman feel welcome, feel special, isn’t that the role of the church? Do you think Cliff ever dreamed of going to the church to feel special? Why not?
- Finally, Washington Post columnist Jeanne Marie Laskas wrote about her experience in the tribe, noting that she “saw that the possibility for humiliation existed in every aspect of her life except for one: her tribe of friends she called ‘the Babes.’ Within that context, she felt no expectation that she had to be continuously smart or attractive or ‘on.’ In fact, when she was around her friends, she felt she didn’t have to do anything at all… ‘No one is going to going to judge me if I just sit here daydreaming.’ That is what the Babes are all about. The freedom to just be.” May the church accept God’s people and love them in this way.
I have to add one more funny note from this book. Watters goes on this tangent about evolutional psychology and how it explains the differences between men and women when it comes to commitment and marriage. One thing I found interesting is how the two sexes differ in this views on sex and multiple partners. He notes that on average, women prefer eight-tenths of a sexual partner per month, one over a year, two in three years and five in a lifetime. Men prefer two partners a month, five in a year, ten over three years, and twenty in a lifetime.
When it comes to how long you have to know someone before having sex, the studies show that women had to know someone six months before having sex. For men it was a week.
Finally, the “amount of time before sex for women bottomed out at a week, meaning no woman reported wanting to have sex with an attractive man after knowing him for less than one week. The men’s curve, on the other hand, never bottomed out. There were many men who reported than they would be willing to consent to sex at the one-hour mark.” Even more funny is that Watters then theorizes that the one-hour mark was too long, why not go down to a second or increments thereof. In fact, he thinks that some men might agree to sex before having met an attractive woman, or even “some men would have consented to sex with an attractive woman, unilaterally and for all future time, somewhere back in high school.” CRAZY!
Watched "The Constant Gardener" again last night, caught something new this time. Earlier in the movie when Tessa and Justin are leaving the movie, she wants to give Kioko and his mother and niece a ride back to their village, 40 km away. Justin says no, he has to watch out for her, there are millions in need, that's what the agencies are for. She response that these are three WE can help, to no avail.
Later in the movie when Justin is up in Loki fleeing the bandits, he wants to bring Abuka (sp?) on the plane with him but the pilot won't let him. He offers a bribe but the pilot says there are thousands out there, we can't help them all. In perfect irony, Justin responds, "but this is one we can help."
These two scenes could not summarize my worldview any better. I am writing an deeper article on this to submit to theooze again and will post when completed.
Later in the movie when Justin is up in Loki fleeing the bandits, he wants to bring Abuka (sp?) on the plane with him but the pilot won't let him. He offers a bribe but the pilot says there are thousands out there, we can't help them all. In perfect irony, Justin responds, "but this is one we can help."
These two scenes could not summarize my worldview any better. I am writing an deeper article on this to submit to theooze again and will post when completed.
Friday, March 10, 2006
I'm really looking forward to seeing this Sebastian Telfair doc, the SG writes about it:
But here's the thing: When the climax of the movie happens (Telfair getting drafted by the Blazers), it's much more affecting than you can imagine, with an entire room of family and friends practically falling down in delight. The defining moment is the sight of Telfair's little brother uncontrollably sobbing with joy; if you ever wondered why basketball means so much to the African-American community, just watch that scene. From day one, ever since I could walk and talk, I've loved basketball as much as any middle-class white kid could love it. But it was never a potential savior for me. I never looked at basketball as my one chance to escape my current situation and provide a better life for my family. I never looked at basketball as my own personal lottery ticket. I never worried that, if I failed in some way as a player, my family and community would be failing with me. You watch Telfair's brother in that final scene and everything hits home: It's not that basketball means so much to the people from Coney Island, but that basketball means too much.
But here's the thing: When the climax of the movie happens (Telfair getting drafted by the Blazers), it's much more affecting than you can imagine, with an entire room of family and friends practically falling down in delight. The defining moment is the sight of Telfair's little brother uncontrollably sobbing with joy; if you ever wondered why basketball means so much to the African-American community, just watch that scene. From day one, ever since I could walk and talk, I've loved basketball as much as any middle-class white kid could love it. But it was never a potential savior for me. I never looked at basketball as my one chance to escape my current situation and provide a better life for my family. I never looked at basketball as my own personal lottery ticket. I never worried that, if I failed in some way as a player, my family and community would be failing with me. You watch Telfair's brother in that final scene and everything hits home: It's not that basketball means so much to the people from Coney Island, but that basketball means too much.
"The present Western policy of playing down genocide and hoping it will peter out has proved to be bankrupt practically as well as morally. Granted, there are no neat solutions in Darfur. But ignoring brutality has only magnified it, and it's just shameful to pretend not to notice the terrified villagers here, huddling with their children each night and wondering when they are going to be massacred."
- Nicholas Kristof, columnist, writing from the Chad-Sudan border of increasing violence by Sudanese militias in the region, including cross-border raids against villagers in Chad.
I don't know Kristof, I've heard the name but I don't know where. I don't know if he is liberal or conservative, religious or not, etc. All I know is that I agree with the statement he just made and the truth thereof. Can you imagine living under those circumstances?
- Nicholas Kristof, columnist, writing from the Chad-Sudan border of increasing violence by Sudanese militias in the region, including cross-border raids against villagers in Chad.
I don't know Kristof, I've heard the name but I don't know where. I don't know if he is liberal or conservative, religious or not, etc. All I know is that I agree with the statement he just made and the truth thereof. Can you imagine living under those circumstances?
Thursday, March 09, 2006
I'm now 0-2 on flights this year. My scheduled 11:58 flight from ATW to MSP this morning got onto the runway where it was discovered that the right engine (with was a propellor, haven't been on one of those in a while) wasn't gauging correctly, so we had to de-plane and reschedule. I made it to MSP, now waiting to get to LAX. At least they upgraded me to first class, it's been a while since I've sat up there.
I saw next to a gentleman in his mid to upper 30's on the way here and in the five talkable minutes he had before being shut down, I think he called every co-worker he had to tell them his Blackberry was down so if they had an urgent into to share they should tell him now. He said this loud enough for the whole plan to hear. I think even the guy with him was embarrassed. I swear this was his first business trip and he had to let everyone know he was out of the office and he may be missed. I'm sure he wasn't.
The other guy next to me acted like he was so above this all. He had also reschedule and just looked to be very arrogant. Dude, if you are that rich and you travel that often, you should be in first class or on a private jet, don't act like you are better than the rest of us! Yancy wrote about this in one of his earlier books, describing an elderly lady on her first flight playing with the lights, exclaiming "they give you peanuts!" and opening and closing the shades on the window, amazed at the scenery from 35000 feet. Most passengers rolled their eyes, Yancey appreciated her child-like outlook and attitude. I too often am the other passengers, may I be more like Yancey.
Finally, as I have a few minutes here and there I'm watching "Contact" for one of my classes. With the situation from this weekend and the fact that Jodie Foster's father dies early in the movie (and I am now 30) I seem more in tune with my mortality of late. Every little twinge in my chest warns me of a heart attack, I fear leaving my wife and children behind, I read articles in the paper that describe accidents far less catastropic than mine that resulted in the deaths of all parties involved. I don't know what to make of this, my prayer is "Lord, if you want me, I am ready, as much as I'd like to stay around here and enjoy your Creation for a while, I know that life with you is unimaginable and I do look forward to it. May your will be done."
I saw next to a gentleman in his mid to upper 30's on the way here and in the five talkable minutes he had before being shut down, I think he called every co-worker he had to tell them his Blackberry was down so if they had an urgent into to share they should tell him now. He said this loud enough for the whole plan to hear. I think even the guy with him was embarrassed. I swear this was his first business trip and he had to let everyone know he was out of the office and he may be missed. I'm sure he wasn't.
The other guy next to me acted like he was so above this all. He had also reschedule and just looked to be very arrogant. Dude, if you are that rich and you travel that often, you should be in first class or on a private jet, don't act like you are better than the rest of us! Yancy wrote about this in one of his earlier books, describing an elderly lady on her first flight playing with the lights, exclaiming "they give you peanuts!" and opening and closing the shades on the window, amazed at the scenery from 35000 feet. Most passengers rolled their eyes, Yancey appreciated her child-like outlook and attitude. I too often am the other passengers, may I be more like Yancey.
Finally, as I have a few minutes here and there I'm watching "Contact" for one of my classes. With the situation from this weekend and the fact that Jodie Foster's father dies early in the movie (and I am now 30) I seem more in tune with my mortality of late. Every little twinge in my chest warns me of a heart attack, I fear leaving my wife and children behind, I read articles in the paper that describe accidents far less catastropic than mine that resulted in the deaths of all parties involved. I don't know what to make of this, my prayer is "Lord, if you want me, I am ready, as much as I'd like to stay around here and enjoy your Creation for a while, I know that life with you is unimaginable and I do look forward to it. May your will be done."
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
My accident wasn't even 48 hours old and already two letters in the mail from some scumbag injury attorney's looking for business. I'm glad I'm not hurt because being burt sucks, but I'm also glad I don't have to deal with those people.
It's funny that just the other night I was watching "A Civil Action" with John Travolta. I like the part in the beginning at the first court hearing when he opens by saying that the defense lawyers are just trying to excuse him and acting like he's not a real lawyer. The judge, John Lithgow, says something like, "You're an injury attorney, you'll get used to it." Great line, great movie.
It's funny that just the other night I was watching "A Civil Action" with John Travolta. I like the part in the beginning at the first court hearing when he opens by saying that the defense lawyers are just trying to excuse him and acting like he's not a real lawyer. The judge, John Lithgow, says something like, "You're an injury attorney, you'll get used to it." Great line, great movie.
Sunday, March 05, 2006
I think I used up my first of nine lives this afternoon. A fellow teacher and I were driving down to WI Dells for a conference and the roads were very slick. She was driving due to the fact that my car wouldn't start this morning, which I thought might be better as she had an SUV. We were merging onto I-39 South and when we got onto the Interstate we sought to merge to the left lane to pass a semi. As we did, we hit a patch of ice and began to spin. We probably spun three to four times when I thought we were going to make it, until we were perpendicular with the traffic and I turned over to my left to see a semi about to smash us. It did, we went into the ditch, down a large embankment, hit a fence, and stopped. Fortunately, neither of us were injured, we both walked away unscathed. I am now home after a nerve-wrecking two-hour drive home on the same icy roads, no conference for me this weekend.
A few thoughts on that whole incident:
First, the grace of God. If that semi hits the driver side five feet further up, she may be in very serious condition. It could not have hit us in a better place. No airbags went off, we didn't roll, the slide down the very steep embankment was gradual, etc. I continued to be humbled in His Presence.
Second, the idea of having one's back came to mind as Meaghan called her mother to pick us up. Just about a year ago I went to an At-Risk conference and heard the keynote speaker talk about the fact that the kids we deal with have no one who "have their back." Growing up, our parents always had our back. We needed homework done, they were there. We needed a project complete, they were there. Something went wrong at school or on the playground, they were there. The kids I teach don't have that, and they suffer for it. Had Meaghan not been able to call her mother, I could have called on countless family and friends who would have dropped everything to come and get us, I'm sure she could say the same. People have our back, as a teacher of At-Risk students, I have to have theirs, no one else does.
Finally, I was really struck at the number of people gauking, taking pictures, calling friends on cells as they plodded by in their cars looking at the two of us on the side of the road. Makes me think differently about reacting to accidents as I drive past them.
A few thoughts on that whole incident:
First, the grace of God. If that semi hits the driver side five feet further up, she may be in very serious condition. It could not have hit us in a better place. No airbags went off, we didn't roll, the slide down the very steep embankment was gradual, etc. I continued to be humbled in His Presence.
Second, the idea of having one's back came to mind as Meaghan called her mother to pick us up. Just about a year ago I went to an At-Risk conference and heard the keynote speaker talk about the fact that the kids we deal with have no one who "have their back." Growing up, our parents always had our back. We needed homework done, they were there. We needed a project complete, they were there. Something went wrong at school or on the playground, they were there. The kids I teach don't have that, and they suffer for it. Had Meaghan not been able to call her mother, I could have called on countless family and friends who would have dropped everything to come and get us, I'm sure she could say the same. People have our back, as a teacher of At-Risk students, I have to have theirs, no one else does.
Finally, I was really struck at the number of people gauking, taking pictures, calling friends on cells as they plodded by in their cars looking at the two of us on the side of the road. Makes me think differently about reacting to accidents as I drive past them.
Saturday, March 04, 2006
I think I've finally caught up on life. Just finished two assignments for school and I think I have built up some equity with the family again.
Speaking of family, here is sacrifice: Duke-UNC is on right now and I am allowing Maiya to watch "Lady and the Tramp" on the only TV we have...AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I was going to post a couple of quotes from the Sports Guy's "Curious Guy with Malcolm Gladwell," I have no idea who this guy is but click on the link and check it out.
Speaking of family, here is sacrifice: Duke-UNC is on right now and I am allowing Maiya to watch "Lady and the Tramp" on the only TV we have...AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I was going to post a couple of quotes from the Sports Guy's "Curious Guy with Malcolm Gladwell," I have no idea who this guy is but click on the link and check it out.
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