Landed well into Amsterdam, only a few hours sleep, but I seem to be doing fine.

I tried to write last night at the airport a few final thoughts but didn't get a chance, here is a condensed version that I may expand on in the next few days:

1) I made it pretty clear how homesick I got again this time and that unless Lisa returns with me next year, I may take a year off. I really feel that my time "running tour groups" may be over, and that if I return it will be with more specific work (teaching, a new project, etc.). That still stands, however...

2) The burden within me for the girls and women in Mathare who are sexually exploited and abused continues to be there. For the past couple of years this theme has been on my heart and I never knew where it would go, but I prayed that one day God would show me. This may be it. I can see raising funds, putting a center together, hiring some counselors, and supporting those who have been abused. That is very vague and much research is needed, but I can see the foundation beginning to sprout.

3) With that, I cannot explain the joy in spending time with dear brothers and sister in Kenya, and the latter part of this trip was no exception. I tried my hardest to change my ticket to fly home earlier, but in the end am glad I didn't as I would have missed out on so much the past few days. It begin on Monday with meeting a gentleman named Curtis Reed, an African-American brother in the Lord from Chicago who had a great incarnational ministry in a part of Nairobi called Eastlands. What a blessing to meet and spend time with this gentleman, he is truly doing Kingdom work!

In addition, Dan and I had the opportunity to spend three hours with Dotun Modupe yesterday at a coffee shop and my spine tingles and the little hair on my head stands up at the stories he tells and the work he is doing. This was my third trip working with Dotun, and each time I get more of a heart for what he is doing, what the Lord has done in his life, and the future of his ministry.

4) So as I return home, it is definitely with an anxious heart to see my family, but it is also one of anticipation and longing for prayer as to what the future may hold. Will Lisa return with me next year? Will I be doing more specific work with Tumaini? Will I begin the counseling center? Only the Lord knows, and I am trusting He will lead me and give me the heart for what happens next.

Walking home from dinner tonight, in the dark (which I've never done before), I was severely accosted by a large group of women with babies and young children who saw the skin color and wanted some. Severely phased by this, I reached into my pocket for some change and gave 25 shillings to a lady, which made her friend chase and yell at me all the more. So then I pulled out the first bill I could find in my pocket, a 500ksh note, and gave it to her, which just encouraged the others. Finally I had to appease the last two and have them split 200 shillings. In all it was only $10 but that is usually not who I like to give to. I just hope they were legitimately in need and that money went to feed a starving child or mother.

A couple of more reflections on the past couple of days:

First, the past couple of days have really given me a vision for what may be my future here. I wrote a few days ago about the amount of young girls sexually abused here, upwards of 60% in Mathare, with really no support or ministries for them. We saw at Tumaini the enormous need for counseling, and it seems to be apparent here as well. Those who know me know that I have a major heart in this area, I am praying about where the Lord takes that.

To make things more interesting we had lunch today with a friend of Dan's, Curtis, an African-American man from Chicago who lives here and ministers. I shared my heart with him and a short time later his fiance joined us. It turns out that she is studying at US International University, psychology and counseling. I shared my heart with her and inquired whether than area interested her, she responded that she doesn't know as she may not be able to objectively minister to the girls. Though this went right over my heart, Curtis shared with us later that she had been abused as a child by a relative, thus her inability to be objective. I expressed my sorrow, but he said no worry, pray that she would be able to enter that field as she would be perfect for a position with what she's gone through. My prayers are there.

We stayed by a gentleman the past two nights who hosted Dan when he stayed here two years ago. He and his son live in South C and he is retired from a big-time job with Coca-Cola, great people. We fellowshipped at Dan's church on Sunday, boring service but meeting Dan's friends was great. It was my first experience with true middle-class Kenyans, professionals, college students, etc. I have not been as happy in all of my five trips here, no asking for money, no projects in need of money, just good old-fashioned fellowship by young people who love the Lord!

Finally, we went out to dinner as a Brazilian Steakhouse last night, similar to the Carnivore without the exotic meats and price tag, but the meat was prepared much better. We spent the greater part of two hours with Philip and Charles, listening to African history, their take on regional politics, our experiences here and in US, etc. What a great time, again, one of the better in all of my time here.

But then reality hit us again today as we ventured back into town, only to be accosted again by kids, adults, etc. A security guard helped me get my things into the elevator and to my room in the hotel and as soon as the doors closed said to me, "You should invite me to the US with you," when I responded that he would need a visa, he said I could take care of it...seeing that I met him barely 15 seconds ago I think I'll pass.

Out for now...29 hours until I depart, around 63 until I land in Appleton.

Well, a transition time has come in our trip. The three ladies with us are gone, it is just Dan and I, and the time is winding down. A few thoughts:

First, we both had an hour massage yesterday, not exactly deep-tissue but solid nonetheless, other than the lady making fun of me (to me and Dan separately) that I was losing my hair, she said either I'm rich or old. I'm afraid both are coming too true.

We then went to Mathare and Kibera to again visit HEART's WEEP (Women's Empowerment and Education Program) centers which take in HIV+ single mothers, give them the necessary drugs, get them healthy, and teach them a tailoring skill and guarantee them a certain income through the program. It's very solid. Beyond that, the driver for HEART, William, bought the plot next to one of the centers and is using the first floor for the women to work and the second for them to live free of rent. He said we American's have been such an influence and encouragement on him and his family and the women that this was their way of giving back. Mind you, this is a gentleman was lives in Kibera, who does not have a rainy day fund, but thought it important to do his part. WOW!

We then went back to HEART, had dinner, and Dan and I went to a club called Casablanca. I've seen nothing in the US that rivals this place, it was crazy, and we were a little out of our league. Nevertheless we enjoyed a few drinks on the couches and made it back to the lodge before midnight.

Today we spend the morning with my friends Dotun and Ami and their ministry to refugees, specifically today Somalis. A great time. There was also a gentleman there affiliated with ITeams, the son of the founder, Craig Dyer. We had a good talk, it was a great time. The highlight was the intensive prayer time we had for peace in Somali (Dotun led us through 2 Kings 7 first, asking if we really believe that God can bring peace to that country), the children of Somali, and the believers from Somalia, that they can remain strong and one day go back to bring the Gospel to their country. It was powerful!

We are also now relying on public transportation, not my favorite but I can handle it, for a few days anyway. Only 79 more hours until I leave, you think I'm getting homesick?

Forgot to mention two things in my last post:

1) In the past few days, I've been referred to as a pastor, bishop, CEO, university lecturer, and one other that I can't remember, but never as a high school teacher. They like to embelish just a little here.

2) I read another book since my first post on books, one I found in Mombasa called "Shame," about a young girl from England whose parents moved there from India before she was born on the issue of forced marriages and the abuse of young girls and women. It reminded me a lot of "Infidel" and really burdened me again for the young girls out there forced into these situations. She now runs a counseling center in England for such women and tells the story of one lady who came to her, telling her that from the age of 8 she was raped by her brother and uncle, she told her mother but her mother beat her for bringing shame onto the family. Her brother found out that her mother knew and didn't do anything so he continued, only more frequently. Can you believe this? Imagine being in this situation!

I also was talking to Dan about a recent post about my grandfather, who looks like he may make it until I get home. I was telling him of the legacy my grandfather is leaving behind and how I don't see that from my life. Dan countered by having me imagine the treatment Lisa and the girls will receive if they ever come to Kenya. They will be treated like queens and princesses. He said it's all about where you make your investment. I think he's right and it's humbled me.

This may be the longest I've been away from an Internet connection since its existence, and it's killing me!

I'll be brief with a few updates:

We just returned from Masii visiting with children and the staff for a few days. A few highlights:

1) It was a true blessing to be able to see my daughter, Mwende, she has grown and it doing very well, I love that girl like she were my own.

2) We went to another school where they had the best basketball facilities I've seen in rural Kenya. I talked to the coach, told him I also coached, and asked if the five of us (two guys, three girls) would take on his team. He agreed, we played, they scored the first four points and I was scared! We came back to take the lead and it was tied at the end, we prevailed by four points. One of the girls was really good, I wanted to recuit her but she is already a senior. One thing I'd like to do in the future is come here to do two or three day camps at some of the high schools, I think they would like that.

3) One cannot explain the roads, it's that bad.

4) We went into the nearby city, Machakos, to watch one of the Tumaini boys run in a track meet. He ran a few events, he ran the 400 meter, and won. He performed this morning in Nairobi at a competition to quality for some meet in Poland. He took third and I have not been told yet if that allowed him to quality. This guy is fast, he ran the 400 meter in 47 seconds, I'm still checking to see how that would stand in our state track meet.

5) The best times I found here are when we take the last evening and fellowship with dinner and prayer and words with the Kenyan staff. What a great group of people who give their lives tirelessly to the children, love them and cherish them and bring them up in a loving environment. I am humbled by their care and love, I couldn't be happier with this group of people.

We then returned early this morning to Nairobi to join HEART and visit the Community Transformers and Weep projects in Mathare. For those of you not familiar, Mathare is a slum of around 700,000, much worse than what I've seen of Kibera, and is where much of the strife occurred in post-election violence earlier this year. A few thoughts:

1) I like to look for solutions for the poverty, I cannot think of one right now to help this place.

2) It is thought that over 60% of the girls are abused sexually in this area. I was asked to pray at the end and prayed especially for the girls, that God intervenes and protects them. With two young dauthers I just can't fathom this and am angered by it!

We are now at HEART waiting to go eat at Carnivore, I will have more thoughts later.

Couple more thoughts, glad to see a few of you are tuning in, I appreciate the comments:

1) What's happening to my Lakers?

2) Read three books so far on flight and downtime, two I strongly consider: "Standard Operating Procedure," a new look at Abu Graib by Philip Gourevitch; and "Africa Doesn't Matter," a critical look at African aid and the ways the West works to ensure Africa remains dependent, this one made me rethink some long-standing paradigms I've held onto, rethink but not change yet, need to process more.

3) I had to fly from Mombasa to Nairobi this morning for a meeting with a possible granting organization and flew right over Kilimanjaro, what a beauty and special sight! Unfortunately, it seems to be losing snow and they are hoping with it being winter here that some will come back. A great sight nonetheless.

4) We built in two days in Mombasa this year at the beach, beautiful area, and now the work begins. I'm just off to lunc with some of our Tumaini girls who are studying in Nairobi, then off to Masii for four days with the ministry, back to Nairobi to work with HEART in Mathare and Kibera, then a couple of days (hopefully) with Dotun and International Teams with Somali Refugees, then a couple of more days with other ministries we've not yet shored up. Now is when the fun begins!

Keep us in your prayers for safety and the Lord drawing us closer to Him!

A few thoughts on my first few days here in Kenya and my trip over:

1) Amsterdam is flat, flat like I've never seen before. I thought central WI and Nebraska were flat, this takes it to another level completely. It now makes sense why rising water level can affect this country more than any other.

2) I hate always asking for exit rows on flights, but I always do, and am often successful. I had the best seat ever on the way over, I was able to lounge back, stretch out, and sleep for six of the eight hour flight. Of course, that meant I would get no sleep the next two nights, but it was worth it.

3) Our driver let me drive for 2.5 hours yesterday, on the highway and into Mombasa. The highway was fine, the group didn't like my driving in Mombasa, I would explain the traffic but there is no comparison that anyone would recognize, not even if you've been to Mexico.

4) I'm in what Morrie Schwarz would call a tension of opposites right now. On one hand, I feel this may be my last trip for a while. The travel, cost, and time away from family is just wearing on me too much of late. I can see taking a couple of years off.

On the other hand, I feel that I am just beginning my work. The problem is that I feel I need more to do here, more concrete projects, than just bringing teams over and visiting the people. It's a true tension of opposites and one I really need to commit more time to prayer for.

That's it for now, we are one more day in Mombasa, tomorrow I fly back to Nairobi for a meeting, then off to Masii for a few more days.

A final thought on the flight. The drive from Masii was almost 8 hours yesterday, but on very good roads. I have to fly to Nairobi for my meeting and then drive to Masii, only two hours but on terrible roads. The roads are so bad that I seriously don't know whether the 8 hours on good roads or two hours on bad road is better or worse. Yes, it's that bad. (The only good news is that they are that bad because they are being fixed...hopefully next year...if I come back.

Missler says it well here in his discussion on Islam and Christianity:

Islam is making its way in the West, but it would have far less success without dead Christianity. Dead Christianity is a vaccine that inoculates people against the real thing. True Christianity is full of life and health through the Spirit of God. Dead Christianity has few answers, and looks no different than any other religion on earth. Christ-centered Christianity is full of holy power that frees people and heals lives. The Christians of Iran have found what too many Western churches have lost - Jesus Christ. If we get him back in our churches, in our homes and our lives, we'll be leading the Muslims to him, rather than the other way around.

This would be hilarious if it wasn't for the four kids they left behind and the seriousness of the issue. How can people live like this or do this to other people? Frequent Abandonment?

...sued to dissolve the union (see excerpt on Page 6) in Charleston, S.C., family court. Jennifer cited Bill's "adultery, addiction to marijuana and alcohol, abusive behavior, physical abuse, sexual addictions and frequent abandonment." She has asked the court to determine whether the pre-nup is valid. The couple has four children.

Chuck Tooman is a guy I met a few years ago when we were doing the house church. I still receive periodic emails from him. I found the latest one very encouraging and moving and though I wish I could link the entire text, I'll post just a few paragraphs:

A recent radio broadcast claimed pornography to be the new battle ground, and expressed alarm over the possibility that this war will be even more intense than the abortion issue because of the intensity with which lust has saturated our society. Urgent voices pleaded for creative, dedicated minds to respond now.

My heart¡¦s immediate and painful response was, ¡§No! No! No! That¡¦s the wrong focus! Jesus says, ¡¥If I be lifted up I will draw all men to me.¡¦ Jesus is the focus, not pornography! We have pornography because we have quit lifting up Jesus!!¡¨

I shake my head and wonder. When are we going to get it?! When are we going to learn?! Satan has to be dancing to his heart¡¦s delight because the more we battle issues¡Xno matter what they are¡Xthe less we focus on Jesus. We thoughtlessly rush into what we can do instead of trusting God for what He can do.

When we battle pornography, abortion, gambling, war, the environment, immigration or any other issue here on earth Satan has a heyday because we are battling on his turf and he¡¦ll welcome those approaches any day. Why? Because he¡¦ll use up and destroy resources that could be used for spreading the gospel, and he¡¦ll gleefully use up and destroy people because people are what make up the Kingdom.

We must fight the battles in the heavenly realm, and we do that by lifting up Jesus Christ. As we lift up Jesus Christ and pray for people to be more Christ-like, a strange thing happens: they become more Christ-like. As we lift people up for healing through Christ, another strange thing happens: they become healed. Prayer lifting up Christ has changed the tides of battles, the outcomes of wars and the directions of nations, and that should not surprise us because scripture tells us that the king¡¦s heart (and everything else) is in the hand of the Lord.

AHHHHHHH! I wish I could post more, this is great stuff. And timely...I had a conversation with a colleague today about the environment and how he was twisting Scripture to pass his viewpoints on. I am all for turning off the lights, conserving gas, etc., but whether I do this or don't has absolutely zero bearing on my relationship with Christ. If I feel He has called me to this, I need to obey. If I feel He has called me to AIDS orphans in Kenya, I need to obey. If I feel He has called me to rich businessmen in Palm Springs in December, I need to obey, and no one can question or qualify that.

I thought Donald Miller said this well in Searching for God Knows What when he discussed how we always try to measure ourselves against our neighbor..."I'm more green than her"..."I read from the King James Version"..."I go to such and such a church"...we might be better off just lining everyone in the world up next to each other from the most spiritual to the least, then at least we'd know where we stood. I love the sarcasm!

My colleague also went on to tell me that a local Presbyterian Church invited him to make a presentation on the environment or being green or something. I didn't get any deeper as I had to leave, but if this is in the sermon or during the service, I would not be happy, that and half of what we preach on Sundays has no business in the gatherings. If it's on a Tuesday night or something or before or after service for those who wish to attend, no issues.

Furthermore, and finally, I am still not convinced that this is a biblical issue. Jesus never addressed it not did Paul, all I can get from my colleague is that "we should be good stewards of God's Creation" which he tells me is in Genesis 1, when I reply that Genesis 1 actually reads:

God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground."
Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food." And it was so.

So then I am told that "...well, wouldn't you think that "rule" means to rule wisely..." which I reply that I would think that but I wouldn't KNOW until I looked up the Hebrew text and found out for myself what "rule" means...instead of reading my own preconceived notions into the text I could engage in proper biblical exegesis and look it up and see what it really means, but then that might not suit my needs...I'd rather plead ignorance.

In addition, my basic understanding of this is that the world is also under a curse due to the Sin of Man and as we humans do, so also the earth is awaiting a time of redemption, whether we go green and save it or not:

We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. - Romans 8:22-23

I could go on, and I might talk about his use of a verse in Micah in a future post, but I'm out of steam right now.

I left my grandfather's house this afternoon, saying goodbye to him for possibly the last time. He is full of cancer and was just diagnosed with pneumonia this week. He looked pretty good and was able to get up and around, but the long-term prognosis is not good. He may have a few weeks in him, but I leave next week for over two weeks, so he'd have to hang on for almost a month for me to see him again.

I'm not good with good-byes, so I encouraged him to stay strong, that I'd see him in a few weeks, etc., but I'm just not sure.

What really struck me as I was taking Maiya on a ride through his land was the legacy he's leaving. I'm not too big on legacies and not too worried what mine will be (other than I hope it'll be that I followed Jesus with all my heart), but with his it is how well-respected he is. I was leaving the yard with Maiya on the four-wheeler and when we got on the road a farmer passed us. I had no idea who he was and he had no idea who I was, but I was leaving Tom Nate's yard so he waved to me, there was respect with that. He worked two jobs his whole life (millwright and farmer), kept up 120 acres of land, milked cows twice a day, kept the place clean and had time in the evenings to come to our sporting events. My Kenyan friend Japheth came to visit and I took him out to see Grandpa, his first reaction was, "this is a strong old man," Grandpa was 73 at the time, but Japheth just knew. Kendyl is always talking about "Tom" and loves the dog. For a man with just an 8th grade education, he's done better than I may ever dream of. I'm proud to be one of his descendents and pray he hangs on until I get home and maybe even until Kendyl's birthday party on July 6.