Remember some time ago when I wrote that one of my player's parents, a Christian, was livid at me for various reasons. Well, I received a scathing letter today. I've got mixed emotions and reactions to this. For one, I feel my conscience is clear in this matter (and it is), therefore there is nothing more that I can do. I feel they are totally taking this the wrong way and I am in the right. Also, their accusations of me are clearly not accusations Christians would make, at least in my mind. Also, taking to heart my faith in this manner as they have makes me wonder, what does a Christian (in this case Christian coach) look like? I know what they think it looks like, equality, fair, appeasing to the crowds, giving in to pressure, etc. Does some of that exist? Probably, but like I told Lisa, I don't put myself in this category at all, but the people probably got mad at Paul and Jesus as well. In fact they did, they got so mad at them that they killed them. They did things that made people mad. As Christians, we can't please everyone. As I have said, my conscience is clear in this matter.

But second, it does hurt when another so-called brother and/or sister in Christ feel this way about you. I have already apologized and sought forgiveness, but to no avail. I rethink if I could have done things differently. I want to be a witness for Christ. What is a person to do.

I guess just another day in the life of a human in a fallen world.

For the first four years of my life with Christ, I hadn't thought much on community. Now it has almost dominated my thought for the past year. The thing that gets me is how much I desire community with other believers. There is nothing like it. That bonding in the blood of Christ moves me. Yet there is a catch, it is temporary. I enjoy it while I have it but inevitably it ends. Then I have to wait for some more. It's the consequence of living in a fallen world. So I guess what I have to do is enjoy it while it is there, and when it is not understand there will come a time when it will be eternal.

I went to see "Miss Saigon" last night. It was my first big-time musical production, I enjoyed it, although not the $10 for the useless program (why do they always have to rip you off like that, we Americans just get taken and don't let it bother us). One thing really stuck out at me though:

The basis of the story comes down to the fact that this American GI fathered a child while he was serving in Vietnam for the war. He doesn't realize it until three years later, when he goes back to see the child. (This is a really bad description, I am trying to keep it short.) But the moral that I got out of it was that this was a child, a human being, that needed love and care and support from both parents, not just financial support. He was a human being, created by God, with infinite dignity, value, and worth! I say that again, he was a human being, created by God, with infinite dignity, value, and worth. It got me thinking, how many children are there in this world in this situation? I don't even want to think of the numbers. But God has seriously put two things on my heart in the past few years, one is Kenya and the other is children who are abandoned or neglected. I can't explain the pain I have for them. In "Four Souls" the authors write of being in one of Mother Theresa's orphange's in India. One of the men pick up a baby, who had some disease where she had a huge head but the body was tiny. Just a few months old, the baby clung to the man with affection, not letting go. He literally had to rip this baby away when it was time to go, at that young age she knew there may not be personal affection coming again for some time. I can't imagine this.

Another thing that this reminded me of. In "Night" by Elie Wiesel, he talks in the beginning of one of the most tramatic times of his imprisonment, eight simple words that changed his life forever: "Men to the right, women to the left." He would never see his mother or sisters again.

I guess what I am getting at here is the circumstances our fellow human beings around the world are born into, maybe never to get out of. This pains me, and I pray God gives me the opportunity (which is really there) and then the courage and boldness to help spread the Kingdom of God to these people.

I'm going to go into a time of confession. All too often for me, living the Christian life is a matter of "have to" instead of "get to." Let me explain.

I usually look at the teachings of Jesus, perhaps some from the Sermon on the Mount, as what I must do, asking myself "what does Jesus require" as in a law? Well, he says to pray for thoso who persecute you, turn the other cheek, give to the poor, etc. I then relay this to my daily living as things I "have to do" to be pleasing to God, and I go about my life like that.

What I must do, I believe, instead, is to look at these teachings as not what I "have to do" but what I "get to do" in this life with Jesus. I get to live in His Kingdom, I get to give to the poor, I get to partner with Jesus in reaching this lost world, I get to pray for others, which Willard calls the "highest act of love" in hope that they too will turn to Christ for their salvation and new life in Him.

Are you following me. I continue to learn, although it's hard to get through my thick skull, that they dispositions by Jesus are not laws, they are not things that must be done, for we are already "saved" or "going to heaven." These, rather, are things that God gives us the opportunity to partner with Him in what He is doing in our lives and in this world. I will keep you updated on my struggles with this, as this is a major pardigm shift in my own mind.

I ran across this quote in Dallas Willard's book "Divine Conspiracy":

"...that the aim of the popular teacher in Jesus' time was not to impart information, but to make a significant change in the lives of the hearers...(vs.) a peculiarly modern nation that the aim of teaching is to bring people to know things that may have no effect at all on their lives...to want to merely 'know stuff' such as we usually get today out of a high school and college education would have been thought laughable...the teacher in Jesus' time-and especially the religious teacher-taught in such a way that he would impact the life flow of the hearer, leaving a lasting impression..." (112-113)

What this means to me is that all too often I go about teaching the wrong way. It's not the transfer of information that matters, or the correct interpretation of Scripture or the amount of verses memorized, it's the change of life that really determines what is learned, or the change in my life that the Spirit has enabled. This really speaks to me in how I run my classes at school as well as discussion groups with fellow Christians also how I live my life.

The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man, nor is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything. And he made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their dwelling place, that they should seek God, in the hope that they might feel their way toward him and find him. Yet he is actually not far from each one of us, for "In him we live and move and have our being." Acts 17:24-28

I watched the "Passion" last night. While I was watching it, I couldn't get over the feeling that first, this really happened, and second, did Jesus envision that one day I would be sitting there watching it on a big screen eating popcorn as entertainment? I don't think so, it makes me feel kind of weird.

I also can't get over this feeling I've had lately of how I feel God wants us to enjoy this life, enjoy His Creation, and enjoy fellowship with one another. Too often for me it's going from here to there, meeting to meeting, looking forward to this and that without just enjoying life. I need to chance some things in my life so that I am able to enjoy it more and focus on the things that really matter.

I had this thought today regarding two churches in CA that I visited in each of the past two summers.

The first one we would all recognize by name, professional, large, etc. I didn't like it. We discussed it after the visit in my class. All of the people in my class loved it, said they were friendly, professional, well prepared message, etc. To me it didn't feel like "church" (although my paradigm of what feels like "church" has changed dramatically recently).

The second one no one would know of, store-front church, great people, passionate for the Lord, candles in and around the sanctuary, etc. The class didn't like it, didn't feel like "church." I loved it, people were great, the sermon was passionate although some would say not prepared, they shared what they had done the past day on a mission trip to Mexico. They were meeting around the Lord, not programmed, but passionate.

Here is the moral I am trying to get at. No matter the quality of worship and study, people are willing to give a large, professional church with well-educated clergy more of a chance than a store-front church with not-so-educated servants of the Lord. What does that tell us about our culture.

I need to think more on this.

Is anyone out there? Just checking.

Sorry it's been so long since I have blogged, I've been too busy and too sick. I'm back to normal now.

My basketball season is over, we finished 16-1. Learned more from 1 loss than 16 wins. That's life.

I just saw Leann Rymes (sp?) sing Amazing Grace on TV. WOW! She only sang the first verse, but I like the last one:

When we've been there, ten thousand years
Bring shining as the sun
We've no less days, to sing God's praise
Than when we first believed

SNOW DAY! This is the next best thing to a sunny beach, a distant second.