I'm getting old and with that old age (along with sore bones and muscles) I am getting much more sappy. I want to cry all the time. I can be watching a game and want to cry, a movie, whatever, I feel tears welling up inside of me. Reading Philip Yancey brings me to a total mess. What's going on?

I also came across this paragraph in the book "Every man's battle":

"God forgot what we forgot - namel, the curse of Eden is a grinding curse. Life is a steamroller, making pancakes of conditions and easily mashing the naive contracts we create. In our dreams for marriage, maybe we forgot that we would still have to work long hours by the sweat of our brow to eat, and that we wouldn't always see each other as much as we wish. Maybe we forgot that we will sometimes be beaten up and used by bosses, our minds so numb we just don't want to talk when we get hom. Maybe we forgot that with the pain in childbirth comes bodies that never regain their former shape."

I think every couple thinking of marriage should reflect on this quote. It also wouldn't hurt every couple in general to discuss this.

You have no idea how great it is to be working again and actually have a purpose for every day (not that being a father isn't a purpose, you know what I mean). I even dressed up tonight for a meeting. Not to get psychoanalytical, but there is something tied to one's esteem and their job, at least for me. I don't absolutely I'm-going-to-die-if-I-don't-get-to-work love my job, but I enjoy it and love the people I work with.

I had something else but it slips my mind for now. Later...

You have no idea how great it is to be working again and actually have a purpose for every day (not that being a father isn't a purpose, you know what I mean). I even dressed up tonight for a meeting. Not to get psychoanalytical, but there is something tied to one's esteem and their job, at least for me. I don't absolutely I'm-going-to-die-if-I-don't-get-to-work love my job, but I enjoy it and love the people I work with.

I had something else but it slips my mind for now. Later...

For quite some time, especially since fatherhood but even before that, I have had a huge heart and burden for children who are abused or neglected. Every time I hear a story or see a child who is just not treated properly, I get so mad in the flesh I don't know what to do. Often I just pray. But the thing is that I don't have this same feeling for orphans or foster children who are treated properly, it's just for those, whether from one or two parent families or foster families who are not treated as children should be. It's almost like God is leading me to do something, but what do you do?

Having said that, check out this blog from a guy I check out every once in a while. There's a lot of truth to what he wrote:

"I'm so happy to have my family to come home to. Their unwavering acceptance of me, the constant encouraging of my dreams, the relentless encoure of "Daddy's home!" everytime I walk through the door are more than enough to offset a world of rejection from these countless unknown casting directors."

I blogged the following some time in May:

"Last, I used to think I was high stuff in God's Kingdom. But He is really convicting and humbling me more lately. There are so many people out there who are just spiritual giants compared to me. That's all right, but I just have to remember that the first will be last and vice versa, and instead of building my own Kingdom on this earth I need to build up the Kingdom of God."

It is totally pertinent as I sit here this evening as well. What God humbled me with this evening was that I just have to serve Him. Whether it be in Kenya or America, in a house church or organized church, whatever the case I must serve and glorify Him with my own life and inspire others to do the same. It's that simple. And that's my prayer.

Lisa and I were just at this art shop browsing and there was a bronze sculpture of a naked man for $65,000. That's no misprint. And people think Christians are crazy! The world doesn't exactly make the most sense either.

Another quote, this one from the book "Every Man's Battle": It costs something to learn about Christ. It costs a lot to live like Christ." TRUTH!

Finally, I find that I'm in this mode right now when I'm "against" more than I'm "for," and I don't like that. For instance, I've been too much against the institution of the Church rather than for the egalitarian grass roots way that I enjoy so much. I'm against the clergy-laity division rather than being for the priesthood of all believers. I believe we get further by being "for" something we believe in rather than "against" something we don't believe it. I'm glad I caught this, now I have to change.

One last thing, I'm reading this other book called "The Challenge of Jesus," it's not a bad book, some of it is way over my head, but the author asks a lot of good questions. I'm not totally sure on his answers, but the questions are great, I'll share them in my next blog, I want to get into some more reading first. Maybe then you'll come back anyway.

I'm in this mode again of having so much to say that I have nothing to say. In two weeks I'll be back to updating more frequently, otherwise I'm going to quit.

I just finished a paper on Roman Catholic ecclesiology. As usual I ranted about it the whole time, but I did find a few positives, one being professed unity toward a common goal and another the ability to find purpose and role in the insitution. However, we shouldn't need an intistution for either of those, we have Jesus and the Bible, yet we always want concrete things to worship, just like the Israelites with the calf.

I'm beginning to think more on my exodus from the modern church a year ago. My thinking this week is that I was sick of all of the facades being put up and the way we had to go play softball or golf to fellowship. I like what my favorite friend Jon Setser always tells me, let's just fellowship around Jesus. I like that.

Finally, I just ran into this quote from Richard Niebuhr and like it a lot:

“In his single-minded devotion to God, Christ leads men away from the temporarlity and pluralism of culture. In its concern for the conservation of many values of the past, culture rejects the Christ who bids men rely on grace.” - Richard Niebuhr

Blessings...