I'm sorry the following will be a little long, but I heard this story first-hand from Mama Vickie in Kenya and wept along with Vickie, it really hit me at a tough moment when I needed to see again how big God is. Now she wrote it to the HEART email list. I had to share in a somewhat edited format her WEEP (Women's Equality and EmpowermentProject) update. This is what keeps drawing me back to Kenya:

One lady lived with her daughter in her brother’s house (it is not really a house it is more like a 10 by 10 room) with his wife and four children. There was no room on the floor to sleep, as his children were on the floor, so she had to sit up at night, in a chair, holding her daughter. We rented her a “home” of her own for 1,600 Kenyan Shillings or $22.50 a month. We went to visit this “home”; stepping across raw sewage running down the street; trash of various kinds; walked through various twisting little alleyways; to find this home. It was clean and neat. The only furnishings were a borrowed Jiko (little stove that cooks with charcoal), some clothes and a hanging sheet that divided the small room. The blanket I had given her the week before was on the cement floor – spread out so nicely; no other blankets or mattress and no bed.&nb! sp;It has been very cold here. It is winter in Kenya and the stone flooring is cold and damp.

Another lady had a similar “home” but had a borrowed mattress and a chair loaned by a neighbor. She was also so happy to have a place of her own. She had been beaten by her husband and thrown out of the house with her daughter when she told him she had AIDS (he probably brought the disease home to her, but he could not face the truth so accused her of being unfaithful). She had been staying with neighbors and friends but had worn out her welcome, as all live in such tight quarters. Mary had found her living on the street; very dangerous; very cold; very terrible. Now she had her own place!

I told Mary to buy them each a mattress, and we paid the rent through August for the other ladies, except one that Mary wanted us to visit. Mary said “Now, this lady really lives in the slums. “ Our team looked at me as if to ask: “Could it be worse than where we have been?”. Well it was. It was deeper into the slums and the deterioration of the surroundings was much worse. We finally reached her little shack, not a stone building but one made of tin, with many large holes in the walls. She had a bed and two chairs and a Jiko. Her daughter was at home because this mom did not have the money to buy her a uniform for school. We sat for a minute in her home, and then she said to me “Moma Vickie, can I tell you something that is distressing me?” I said “Sure”. She said, “I have TB bes! ides AIDS. I am not supposed to sleep with my children because of my coughing but when I put the children on the floor the rats run over them at night”. I tried not to show the horror I felt. I looked around at the large holes in her walls; I told Mary to find her a place to live.

Well, when I got home that night I received a call from the hospital; a child that we had paid for to have his bilateral cleft lip and bilateral cleft palate repaired a few days prior was to be discharged the next morning and the amount of money that was paid to the hospital, which we thought would cover the bill, was not enough. This child had a severe cleft palate and the surgery had been 3 ½ hours. He was not able to get enough nutrition, and was very tiny except for a big tummy; skinny little arms and legs; all signs of malnutrition. He was in great need of this surgery but I did not have enough money to pay the hospital bill which must be paid prior to discharge from the hospital.

The funds I had spent on the WEEP ladies at this location were stretching our WEEP budget. They were just now learning how to sew so it would be another month we would need to help with food and rent. Not to mention that this is only one of our six WEEP centers … and now the hospital bill. I lay down very tired and prayed, but felt discouraged. Later I got up and checked my e-mails and found an e-mail from Beverly in our Colorado office. A young girl named Alexandra was turning 9 years old and her parents were planning a party. This is the e-mail below:

“This past weekend, a little girl was celebrating her 9th Birthday. She told her mom she didn't want any presents from her friends but instead wanted them to give the money they would have spent on a present for her, to the little children in Africa. Her mother made gift baskets, using the Maasai baskets we had left over from our HEART Dinner, filled with candy and a note asking them to use the baskets to save their change for the children of Africa. She gave each guest one of the baskets. The little girl received over $400 in lieu of presents! And besides that!! Her mother and father recently celebrated their 15th Wedding Anniversary. Her husband asked her what she wanted for their Anniversary - a cruise, a gift ?? &! nbsp; She asked for a check for HEART - he gave her a check for $4,000! This went for the WEEP Project.” (The $4,000 had been sent previously and spent, but I didn’t know the story behind it).

I wept; now I had enough to pay the hospital bill and knew that the Lord will provide for the WEEP Ladies.

It's really amazing how lazy I get toward the end of summer. The past week I have done nothing but mope around here and sleep as much as I could. I slept in, napped in the afternoon, and went to bed early, with relatively nothing accomplished in between. I chased the kids around a little to appease them (and Lisa), but did little else.

Now as I prepare for school tomorrow I feel a sudden burst of energy. I get like this every year. I really long for the routine and social opportunities that come with working. A few years ago a friend was out of work for a year and he really struggled with it, more than just financially, and I always thought that weird. I would love to sit home, I thought, be a dad, hang out, etc. But now I know differently. I need to work, I need to produce, I need a routine, I need something to get me out of bed in the morning. I love my summers, but three months is sure enough. I always liked the Kenyan way of doing education: class January through March, April off; class May through July, August off; class September through November, December off. It's too bad the tourism industry rules the roost in this state and this country.

So it's off to work tomorrow with mixed emotions. Longing to get back into routine, but also some sorrow as it'll be less time with the kids. Maiya starts pre-school as well, so that'll add to the fun around here, I think she's looking forward to it, I'm looking forward to how she'll do and react to school. It's only three days a week for a few hours, but it'll be good for her and good for us to see what we'll do with her for the next few years, whether we go with public school or put her in one of the local private (Lutheran/Christian, charter, etc.) schools. We just pray that she is safe, progresses in her learning, and finds makes some great friends along the way. It's really been a nightmare for me over the past few years as I've known this day would come, and I worry that she won't have friends, that she'll be "that kid" that no one wants to invite to the parties, etc. She doesn't have to be miss popular, but I hope she is liked and finds a close-knit group of friends and her youth is filled with good memories.

What am I saying, she's four! But, she is four, going on five, and this is when the foundation for her life is raise. God, please give us strength and grace for this time.

Enough rambling, I'm out.

This makes me sick! Sometimes I can't believe we live in a world of over 20 millions slaves, but then knowing the state of the world, it's not too hard to believe.

Courtesy of my Internet Doppleganger, I had to post this link. WOW! I like this form of criminal justice.

Well, it looks like my Red Sox are done and Tiger is going to win the PGA. You heard it here first.

Got back from Toronto today and was feeling terrible so I went to the doctor as I was exhibiting about half of the symptoms of malaria since I returned from Kenya. The doctor assured me I was fine, probably just fatigue and stomache flue. The interesting thing is that both my nurse and doctor were Christians and both showed a ton of interest in my ministry in Kenya as well as both being interested in future trips. The doctor's best friend is also the USAID coordinator for HIV/AIDS outreach in Rwanda and she was happy to hook me up with him. What a small world!

I sat in on this abstact session, why do you think this is (as reported in the Epoch Times):

Deep pockets are not so deep when it comes to the AIDS epidemic, Canadian researchers said on Thursday.

They released a study showing that for every person who died in the December 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami, about $35,336 was donated, while $3,333 was given for every person affected by the disaster.

For Hurricane Katrina that struck the U.S. Gulf Coast in August 2005, $33.9 million was donated for every death and $44,286 for every affected person.

But for AIDS, just $1,968 was donated last year for every death, and $153 for each person affected, they told the 16th International AIDS Conference in Toronto .

I don't know a lot about Barak Obama, but from the article (here) on his upcoming trip to Kenya and other African countries, I like what I see. I'm sure there's a lot of things in him I would disagree with as well, as with most politicians, but these points resonate with me:

"One of the messages I’m going to send is that, ultimately, Africa is responsible for helping itself,'' Mr Obama said in an interview yesterday.

I believe that while the foreign community can and should help with the problems in Africa, ultimately it will be up to Africa to make the changes necessary to bring itself into the 21st century.

Earlier this year, Mr Obama attached an amendment to a pending Bill that would provide up to $52 million (Sh3.7 billion) to the Congo while letting President George W. Bush withdraw the assistance if the country makes insufficient progress toward democracy.

I've quoted Sachs here many times, and in Belgium I talked with a man who claimed to be a good friend of "Jeffrey," but one of the things I like most about his book is that if countries are not willing to take steps to end corruption and work for the good of their people, then the West has the right, the mandate, to drop its funding and support. Let's give where the work will be used properly.

He also plans to talk about the responsibility of Africans to take action against "a lack of basic rule of law and accountability that has hampered the ability of countries with enormous natural resources,'' according to an earlier interview. (AP)

Every day I was in Kenya the front page of the Daily Nation centered around corruption in the highest levels of government and how much that cost the people. They need to get beyond that. Supposedly this government is doing better, but its hard to undo what 27 years of corrupt rule built up. It'll be interesting to watch how the Kenyans react as time goes on, it is very easy to go along with the tide, but it'll start with one who says no to corruption and sets the standard while the domino effect takes place. They can then shame those who are still partaking and run the nation as it deserves to be run.

Very appropriate article from the Toronto Star, preview below:

Some 15 million children have watched at least one parent die from HIV/AIDS. But little of the talk at this week's AIDS conference has been about the children left behind, Isabel Teotonio reports.

Another thing on my mind of late is that while the West is notoriously blamed and convicted for its material greed, the rest of the world is not far behind. Sure, in the West it is easy to point out the greed, with our $300 jeans, million dollar homes, etc. But the only difference I see is that we have the access to that and the developing world does not.

Case in point, on my plane ride to Guatemala, I sat next to a retired teacher who three times in the past two years had travelled to China to teach English to college students. What was his impression? None other than the fact that Chinese students seek to study and work for the purpose of garnering a gig at one of the those large engineering or other such firms for the sole purpose of being consumers. They want stuff! He couldn't stress that enough.

Likewise, in Guatemala, those I spent time with were very concerned about the accumulation of stuff. Guess jeans, cell phones, handbags, vacations, etc. Those who had the means took advantage, even though they were Christians, they had no problems spending.

Finally to Kenya. The greed really stood out to me this time, particularly in the Kitale area, but others as well. Another thing that struck me is that those who have means do very little to help those around them, that is what the foreigners are for. Of course, this is a vast generalization, but one I found to be true in my travels.

What do I conclude? Westerners are very greedy and materialistic, but we are not alone. It seems that greed is more of a problem of human nature rather than an epidemic in the Western world alone.

Great article in the Toronto edition of the Epoch Times today entitled "How Hezbollah Fights the Media War." In case you don't want to read the entire article, I've highlighted a few quotes below:

...The sharp-eyed blogger Charles Johnson spotted how a Reuters photo showing burning buildings had been photoshopped. The smoke rising from a damaged building, and the building itself, were copied over the photo—making the result of Israeli bombing look far worse than it actually was.

Other bloggers noticed similar problems with photos by the same Reuters stringer. In one example, the same unfortunate woman appears in two different pictures mourning the loss of two different homes. Eventually Reuters pulled some 900 photos and fired the photographer.

Then Michelle Malkin showed how the New York Times had published a photo of a "dead" Lebanese, said to be a victim of Israeli bombing—except the man was obviously not dead. The New York Times' own photo essay showed the same young man scampering around the rubble in a very lively way.

...In Hezbollah areas, journalists are only allowed to see what Hezbollah wants to show them. Hezbollah keeps copies of the journalists' passports. Journalists who show any independence are threatened.

...Charles Johnson describes a scene captured by a German TV video: "They actually take the body of a child out of the ambulance, transfer it from the light stretcher used in the ambulance to the heavy duty gurney used in the rescue operation (to create the impression that it has just arrived from the bombed area), uncover it, and pose it for photographs."

(This actually reminds me of a seminary class I took where a guest lecturer described a time in Jerusalem where shortly after he arrived he asked where all of the fighting was only to be told that the fighting only happens when the Palestinians see the cameras and begin throwing rocks and such, setting up death scenes, and calling on the ambulances and firetrucks.)

...Hezbollah is fighting the victim's war. The Hezbollah have built hospitals on top of their bunkers; set up rocket launchers on top of or next to apartment buildings. They have made civilian casualties unavoidable. When the civilians they have forced to be their shields are killed, then the media are brought in to cover the loss of life.

A couple of more thoughts:

A story in the Toronto newspaper here today regarded the city of Vancouver and a drug site that they have in their city. It seems that there is this place in the city where people who have purchased heroine, cocaine, etc. can go there and smoke/inhale it with clean instruments. It is supposed to prevent the spread of AIDS since the people are using safe needles/spoons, etc. The city wants to shut it down but the people want it to remain open. At first I was on the side of the city, but bordering on being a libertarian, I think I'm for it. They also offer rehab and detox options. Thoughts?

I saw yesterday that Michael Bloomberg donated $125 million to fight tobacco use worldwide, does anyone but me think they could come up with better ways to spend this money?

Quick update from Toronto:

Got to the conference early this morning only to return after I decided all morning sessions were nothing but junk. The late morning and early afternoon were a little better, but not much. I'm finding that this crowd is very anti-religious, pro-homosexual (almost militaristic on both counts), and seems focused on reacting to the situation with drugs rather than preventing HIV/AIDS with sound education and decision-making. I understand the need to help those already living with the disease, but let's balance that out with proper discussions on how to prevent its spread. Oh well, I've gotten a lot of time to reflect on Tumaini and some thoughts on how to better the VBS and other aspects of the ministry. I'm excited for our meeting in October.

I've found Toronto to be a very nice city, and believe me, Lisa and I have walked the entire city center a few times over. I also remember reading in my Urban Ministry class last summer how international of a city Toronto was, and that intrigued me. Being here first-hand, I can verify that fact.

Back at it tomorrow, here's to some better forums and discussions!

Sorry for the lack of posts of late, been trying to catch up since I've returned but the sleep has been absent and I'm feeling a little down. I was a little concerned about having malaria, but coming out of it the last few hours, so I'm hopeful.

Well, I'm home, sort of. Lisa and I arrived in Toronto yesterday morning for the Int. Aids Conference. I caught the end of Clinton's speech and was too tired for much else. I fully to hit the conference hard this morning but got there bright and early and found there was nothing but junk going on, people talked about microbes and such. Of course, in a little more than an hour there are about five presentations going on that I want to see, I'll have to pick and choose and hopefully hit a little of each of them. So far, though, I'm underimpressed, the focus seems to be reactive (how can we cure those who have AIDS) instead of proactive (how can we prevent the spread of the disease). We'll see how it ends.

Back to Kenya, I've had some time to digest and have come up with the following conclusions:

1) I'm still not sure where I stand with Japheth's ministry. As I've mentioned, I believe he is trying to recreated the Western church with big buildings, sound systems, etc. and overusing his connections to America. What I see is that many are following him due to that and not because of Christ. I need to address this with him. In addition, I don't know how much more I can take of repeatedly, repeatedly being asked for money, tickets to America, gifts, etc. I don't know if I mentioned this but on the last day we were with Japheth we were about to leave and his daughter Jacinta came home from school for the day. Japheth said she wanted to talk to me so I stayed behind for a short time and she did some small talk and then asked me for around $1200 for her school fees, like I was to have it on me at the time. I can see how a father wants his daughter to be educated, but I believe he has the funds coming in, he may just need to budget and prioritize accordingly. Sorry for the rant, it helps me to get these things out.

2) I do know one thing for sure, three ministries I will continue to work with are HEART, Tumaini, and a new one we visited, ITeams Kenya Refugee Ministry. There is some great stuff going on there, too much for me to write about.

3) Finally, I know that I seemed very depressed and sour in my correspondence from the trip, but overall I do have good memories of our time there. For some reason I got more homesick this time than any before, next year, if there is a next year, I have told Lisa she has to go with me, if even for a short time. We'll see.

Thanks for your prayers and support!

it's 6:15 pm Kenya time as i sit in the airport and wait for our flight. we got here plenty early due to the terrorist plot in the uk, expecting a delay, but it seems as though everything is set. there were no restrictions, just a little extra security. if you see this, please pray for our safe and quick return home.

right now, a lot is going on in my head, there are some things that words just cannot express:

1) how much i miss home, it hurts, really, it hurts.

2) how bad the roads are in this country, especially the one to masai mara

3) how amazing the wildlife is in that park, yesterday we saw zebra, elephant, giraffe, wildebeests, a hundred different kind of deer, and, believe it or not, i was about ten feet away from a lion with my window wide open clicking on a camera as it rested in the bushes. today we sat for about a half hour and watched a pride of about twelve lions play, yell, yawn, etc., and then a cheetah was about five feet from our vehicle. literally i could have reached out and touched the cheetah, lion, and elephant, no joke!

oh yeah, we did some ministry as well, but the last few days since i last wrote was mostly playing with the kids, i led a seminar for some teachers i trained last year, etc. things have been good. again, your prayers for a safe and quick journey are appreciated!

Well, as Lisa well knows, the last few days have been very hard. The time with Japheth, while a blessing, is always the hardest time of the trip. Rough roads, no electricity, etc., it just makes it hard. The way there (8 hours on terrible roads) really wears on us, then while we are there we are always being asked for money, like it's an endless supply for us. We also have trouble as we came home, Ed and I flew back due to a seminar we were conducting, but the rest of the group took the bus, which lost its breaks, and another member got sick. Then we got to the hotel and they didn't have the reservation, even though I called to confirm earlier that day. Finally we got everything straightened out.

The next day was shopping, then yesterday a few of us experienced the closest thing to hell on earth, the Kibera slums. I won't way it was hell, as I believe hell to be the absence of God, and I know God is there, but it's terrible. WOW! I really can't even put it to words.

One of the things that really struck us and really made us hard-hearted after the fact was how we felt like this was just check on our list. Kibera- done that, what's next. Yet was a desperate situation. I was struck, I felt this would be it, I didn't know if I could go on with my work in Kenya, I was down, depressed, homesick, etc. Ed and I prayed last night that we had to put this behind us for the time, we wanted to wake up this morning with renewed energy and a vision for the next few days. Only God could do that.

I woke up felling well this morning and as I went to breakfast I met the team (all 24 of them) from CA that we will be working with the rest of the week. I also greeted Dr. Mutunga, the President of Tumaini, an organization I serve, and his wife and Dr. Meshack, the former head of Nairobi Hospital and one of the leading me in the country. He actually remembered me from two years ago. Great men, they renewed my heart.

After that we went to visit Dotun and Ami Modupe, International Teams ministers who work with refugees, mostly Sudanese and Somali. I began communicating with Dotun last year this time but did not meet him until Thursday. What a man! What a ministry! Our hearts were once again refocused on what the Lord is doing here and how we can catch and support that wave! AMEN.

Thank you all for your prayers. We now head to Masii where we will help with a VBS for AIDS orphans for the next four days, then two days of safari and we are home. The time has been long but it's also been good, we are praying for more strength as we continue on.

Barikewe sana!