Well, just this morning I finished up the Sports Guy's "Now I Can Die in Peace." A great read, considering I had read all of the article before, the footnotes made the book, and reliving last year's Red Sox World Series run made it truly worthwhile. Let's just say that as I finished it this morning, it all of the sudden got a little dusty around me. Let me give a few of my favorite soundbites from the reading:

On the Derek Lowe face: "Remember when Troy Aikman would suffer a concussion, and TV cameras would catch him on the sidelines as the Dallas trainers would shove 10 pounds of smelling salts in front of his nose. And Aikman would continue to stare onto the field, undaunted, looking like he just saw Milton Berle naked? That was the Aikman face. Lowe's face freezed like Aikman did, only with considerably more anguish. Imagine someone take a dump and suddenly realizing that there's no toilet paper in the bathroom. Exactly...." (That's why I require a quarter roll minimum before sitting down to do business.)

After discussing the matchups of last season's ALCS vs. the Yanks and noting how announcers just refer to the body part when discussing an injury (Shilling went down with an ankle...): "Big break for the Sox with El Duque's tired arm, the exact same injury that sidelined me when I wsa 14 and we got HBO for the first time." (OUCH!)

I've made my Ben Affleck feelings known here before, but the Sports Guy tops me: "Another silver lining: This A-Rod fiasco made us realize that Ben Affleck needs to be stopped...Since when did Ben Affleck become The Voice of Red Sox Fans? Who nominated him? Would a true Sox fan ever propose to a chick with a big ass from the Bronx? In a million years?"

The following makes me wonder what planet Rueben Patterson is from:
In 2001, Patterson pleaded guilty in the state of Washington to an attempted rape charge for allegedly forcing his children's 24-year-old nanny to perform a sex act. Patterson had to register as a sex offender in Oregon and was suspended for the first five games of the following season by the NBA.

How is this guy allowed to continue?