I've officially turned into a big wimp. I totally broke down in church again yesterday, the second time in three weeks. The grace of God and His characteristics of love and mercy and truth continue to be impressed on me, and I humble break apart. Yesterday it was a few Christmas songs that broke me, especially a few lines:

Silent Night, Holy Night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon virgin, mother and child...

Son of God, love's pure light
Radiant beams from thy Holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace...

Long lay the world in sin and error pining
Till He appeared and the Spirit felt its worth
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious mourn...

Led by the light of faith serenely beaming
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand...

Truly He taught us to love one another
His law is love and His gospel is peace
Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother
And in his name all oppression shall cease...

Took this off the blog of a friend of mine, how true, how true!

Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity: applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!
Thanks,A Troubled User.

Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.The best course of action is to enter the command C APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 ! WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck,Tech Support

Well, another reminder that the New Year is right around the corner, my tax bill came in the mail today.

Speaking of winter, I had two instances of my life flast before me in the past 24 hours. Last night I totally missed a red light, had I not caught it just in time I would have t-boned an old lady in a station wagon, leading to who knows what (the thought just crossed my mind, I could have hit her, killed her, and be facing jail time right now. How thankful I am for the Lord's providence). Thanks Lord! Then tonight, on my way home from practice, a semi stopped sharp in front of me, I caught it late, and had I not swerved into the oncoming lane (after checking that no cars were coming) I would have eaten his steel bumper. I need to be careful.

I have to laugh, I have this ultra-liberal, toe-the-DNC-party-line teacher friend whom I have had many a discussion with in the past few years, and I shared with him some of my thoughts on Sachs' book. Now, I thought this might be one area we might agree, Sachs is clearly liberal and some of the solutions he proposes fit in with DNC protocol, this guy is on the same side as my friend, although he is a little more balanced, not taking a political side but saying it how he sees it. Not good enough for my friend, he blasted some of my comments and quotes. It makes me laught, he is such a hack, unless NPR or Howard Dean or Bill Clinton does or says something, it's wrong. Furthermore, Sachs cites specific claims that neither H or W Bush nor Bill Clinton have been perfect when it comes to fighting poverty or disease, but he still claims that Clinton's policies were totally effective (even though he admits he was a slimeball for a person), and as soon as another Dem gets in there all will change, and if not, it'll be Bush's fault.

Now, I'm not a Bush fan, I voted for him basically out of disgust with Kerry, but had I to do it over again I would have voted Libertarian or not at all, his last few years have been a joke. I'm saying that I'm not a Republican, I'm too conservative for that party, I'm independent and can appreciate a work like Sachs' or other liberal and conserative materials who are open-minded and not simply a hack for their party. I hate Hannity, love Savage!

I ran across this very convicting quote, this speaks to my heart in a major way!

It is not love in the abstract that counts. Men have loved a cause as they have loved a woman. They have loved the brotherhood, the workers, the poor, the oppressed - but they have not loved [humanity]; they have not loved the least of these. They have not loved "personally." It is hard to love. It is the hardest thing in the world, naturally speaking. Have you ever read Tolstoy's Resurrection? He tells of political prisoners in a long prison train, enduring chains and persecution for the love of their brothers, ignoring those same brothers on the long trek to Siberia. It is never the brothers right next to us, but the brothers in the abstract that are easy to love.

I emailed a friend of mine today from Riverside and told him it was 1 degree as I drove to work, he was sitting outside in the sun, 50 degrees, but "freezing." He has no idea what it means to freeze.

I'm about ready to give up on the pop culture. I've been convicted of late that I am too tied into Hollywood, MTV, ESPN, etc. I don't know that I'll give up sports, but I've got to quit caring what happens in Hollywood, what pop artists are doing/creating, and wasting my time watching so much TV! It's going to be a gradual process, but there is so much better work to be done, I have to separate from this.

As mentioned, I'm reading "The End of Poverty" by Jeffrey Sachs. In his chapter on the growth of the Chinese economy, he gives a little history lesson and quotes Adam Smith who wrote about China in 1776 and said it was "rich but static." Sachs continues "China's dynamism was drained by its inward orientation and lack of interest in trade... China had relinquised world leadership by turning inward." Then another Smith qoute follows:

China seems to have been long stationary, and had probably long ago acquired that full complement of riches which is consistent with the nature of its laws and institutions. But this complement may be much inferior to what, with other laws and institutions, the nature of its soil, climate, and situation might admit it. A country which neglects or despises foreign commerce, and which admits the vessels of foreign nations into one or two of its ports only, cannot transact the same quanitity of business which is might do with different laws and institutions.

I couldn't help but see the analogy of what these two men write with the church of today. Although I'm not one who believes the early church was this utopian state (it sure had its problems too, as exposed by some of the writings of the Church Fathers) but I sure think things were better in the first and second century than today. They seemed much more outward focused, focused on loving others, were not as institutionally focused, etc. In today's church, one can catch glimpses of that here and there, but we have become so burdened with non-essentials and inward focus, concerning ourselves with mere numeric, butt in the seats growth, to the detriment of Kingdom expansion. This analogy may be a little far-fetched, but I do believe it has some validity.

Slate had an interesting article on abortion today. One paragraph that caught my eye:

Abortion is the most important issue in American politics. It shouldn't be. Others have as big an impact on the lives of individuals and a far bigger cumulative effect on society. No other nation obsesses about abortion the way we do. But many Americans believe that legalized abortion
is government-sanctioned murder or something close to it. And many others (including me) believe that forcing a woman to go through an unwanted pregnancy and childbirth is the most extreme unjustified government intrusion on personal freedom short of sanctioning murder. For many in these groups, abortion is almost by definition an issue that overwhelms all others, or comes close, when they are deciding how (and whether) to vote. It is also, on both sides, a reliable issue for opening wallets.

What I don't understand is this, how can "forcing a woman to go through an unwanted pregnancy" be the most "unjustified government intrusion on personal freedom"? This almost makes me sick! Except in the case of incest or rape, no one is forcing anyone to go through this, the choice was made at the time of the act. Of course, my moral and religious beliefs affect my view of this, I believe that life begins at conception,and even modern scientific evidence could hardly rebuke that a child is alive (although I'm sure there is debate on what it means to be
"alive") and has feeling while in the mother's womb. Abortion is murder in my mind.

One more interesting note, last summer I was paging through some second and third century Church articles in my Church History class and found some interesting statements against abortion. I didn't realize it was such a problem at that time. I know socially it can be more than a black and white issue with health of the mother, incest, rape, etc., but morally there can be no question that it is wrong and something the Lord abhors.

I didn't leave the house today, not even to take out the garbage or run into the garage, nothing. The closest I got was opening the door to get the mail, and with the temp. 15 degrees with the wind chill making it much colder, I don't think I'm missing out on anything.

I'm just finishing up my final paper for my Lectio Divina class, and in doing some research came across a cool quote from "Resident Aliens" by Hauerwas and Willimon:

In a way, although Jesus unburdened the disciples of so much of the baggage the world considers essential, he did not relieve them of all burdens. He relieved them of false baggage so he could lay upon them even more demanding burdens. For in laying upon them the necessity to trust not their possessions but only him, Jesus showed them that here was a journey which required the cultivation of certain virtues. One should not start out on a dangerous journey without being equipped for the dangers that one may face. So, in any good adventure story, we find a constant testing of the traveler's character and, during the testing, a transformation in the character of the advernturer. The quest requires the adventurer to rely upon and develop his or her own virtues in ever new ways.

I like that, we are relieved of our own burdens, but then put on the burdens of the Lord for the word of His Kingdom that He calls us to.

He continues, "To launch out on a journey is to move toward some goal. Of course, in the journey of faith, we have no clear idea of what our end will be except that is shall be, in some form, true and complete friendship with God." Thus, the idea of and need for faith.

Once again, doesn't Congress have anything better to do?

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=2245440

WOW! did my team suck tonight! We sleepwalked right through a game where we should have obliterated the opponent, only to find ourselves down by one with just over three minutes to go. We were lucky to hit a few shots and get a few calls (the only ones we got all night) and pull it out by seven. We are just not very good.

I'm a terrible assistant coach, I don't think we are coaching these kids very well right now. It may be a long three months.

I am in the early stages of planning a meeting in CA in March and hope to get a day in skiing at Big Bear. What a better three day trip than a morning ski, afternoon meeting, relaxation, and a full day meeting in the sun of Palm Springs, I'm almost kind of convicted, but it will be great to fellowship and pray with some fellow saints and work toward serving the children of Kenya.

By the way, I refust to discuss the debate in the media surrounding Christmas and whether stores should say "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays." I could care less, to me, the more Christmas is taken out of the mainstream the happier I am. I would prefer to remove the Christian element out of them entirely, since there is very little remaining anyway. Let's just call it what it is, a time to gather with friends and family, there's no shame in that.

I know it's been a while since I have written. Time is very precious right now, and I really don't have a lot to say.

As much as I enjoy coaching basketball, this is still my last year, just too much of a sacrifice on the family.

I'm almost feeling led to a different sort of career or at least a job change. But I am convicted of that since I have things so well here at KHS, I don't know if things could ever get better than here, at least in the marketplace.

Finally, I've begun this great book by Jeffrey Sachs, "The End of Poverty." In honesty, I began the book as a way to strengthen my rebuttal to those who are lobbying for the government to forgive all debts and up the enormous amount of aid we already provide to developing countries. I have written much over the past few months on this issue, noting how I see private investments and careful consideration of the governments of the countries we provide the aid to, questioning why the country got into debt in the first place, etc. Furthermore, I have cited several cases where it is shown that the aid does not go to the people, it simply fills the pockets of the corrupt government heads.

Anyway, I digress, this book has been phenomenal, I can't put it down! A few thoughts:

- I've believed for a while that part of the problem in the Church and government and social ideas of America is that deep down we are racist, we don't believe that the lives of these people are as important as ours. Bono makes the same point in the forward to the book, "Deep down, if we really accept that their lives-African lives-are equal to ours, we would all be doing more to put the fire out. It's an uncomfortable truth."

- He discusses a lot of the problems of the World Bank and IMF, some of them I understand, some I don't. Overall, though, he seems to lean toward the fact that we can't just tell the governments that they are wrong, which I agree with, we need to ask the right questions and provide a prescription for getting them out of their problems. He says that in the past Western governments have simply told the developing nations to privatize ownership of land and business and open up their markets. True, but there's more to it. Again, I have no qualms of what he is saying. My problem is that sometimes governments are the problem. Take, for instance, North Korea. There is no reason those people should be starving and that it is a developing country, with S. Korea attached and most profitable. That is the case where the government is the problem, and there are others. Much of Africa, I'm afraid, is in the same boat, with all of their natural resources and opportunities for tourism, yet their are corrupt and despotic and their people suffer.

- He cites John Maynard Keynes with another appropriate quote, "extreme poverty no longer exists in today's rich countries, and is disappearing in most of the world's middle income countries."

- Using India as an example, he defends the outsourcing of many American countries, "Some rich-country protestors have argued that Dhaka's apparel firms should either pay far higher wage rates or be closed, but closing such factories as a result of wages forced above worker productivity would be little more than a ticket for these women back to rural misery...Not only are Indian IT workers providing valuable goods and services to US consumers, but they are also sitting at terminals with Dell computers, using Microsoft and SAP software, Cisco routers, and dozens of other empowering pieces of technology importer from developing countries."

- the rural misery he refers to it extraordinary poverty, illerteracy and no education, chronic hunger and domineering, patriarchal society

- He is an advocator of microfinance, so am I, this past summer in Kenya I spent a day with a pastor in the Hrumba slums who offers small loans to people in his ministry, as low as Ksh500 (USD $.75), which allows them to start a business and change their lives. AMAZING!

- "Let me dispose of one idea right from the start. Many people assume that the rich have gotten rich because the poor have gotten poor...This interpretation of events would be plausible if gross world product had remained roughly constant, with a rising share going to the powerful
regions and a declining share going to the poorer regions...The key fact in modern times is not the transfer of income from one region to another, by force or otherwise, but rather the overall increase in world income, but at a different rate in different regions." AMEN!

- What causes a country to increase or decrease economic output? According to Sachs, saving or lack of saving, trade or lack of trade, tech advancement or reversal, resource boom or natural resource decline, adverse productivity shock (flood, heat wave, pest problem, etc.) or
population growth (which in rural areas means more family members sharing less land which cannot meet their needs)

- One question still remains, what is the duty of richer countries to help (or bail out) developing countries? Is it our obligation? Of course, as Christians, I believe we are obligated to help a brother in need, but this is the government, not the Kingdom, what should our part be?