I'm lying awake here at 12:12am on Easter Sunday questioning why I feel such disdain for holidays such as Easter and Christmas. And as I flip through the channels and watch the news stations proclaim Easter Sunday and such, the hypocrisy just burns me. I can't take it. Those in the media and the greater world in general generally have nothing but hate for Christianity yet on days such as this and Christmas we are supposed to proclaim peace and joy due to the birth of and Risen Christ. YET THEY DON'T BELIEVE IN HIM!

It was the same thing at Christmas. I can't have it both ways. If we are going to do these holidays and they are going to be about Christ, let's make them about Christ. If we are going to have them and they are going to be about getting together with families and promoting peace on earth, let's go for it. But I can't do it both ways, I just can't. One or the other for me.

I feel like a very tortured soul right now for this. On one hand I feel conviction that I am not celebrating Easter in the traditional way tomorrow. I will not go to church, I will spend the morning with my family, go to my parent's house, have lunch, take a nap, do some work, go to my in-laws, eat dinner, go home and probably watch a movie or read a book. Nothing different than most days. And probably the only difference than most other Christians is that I will not go to church. For most, it's just spending that hour in "devotion" and then forgetting about Christ for the rest of the day. (And for those reading this, please forgive me, I'm not talking about you. This is mostly venting on my part. Like another of my bloggers writes, "this is for me, not for you." I love you all!)

Anyway, I'm going to try to hit the sheets again and sleep off this fatalistic attitude I've had of late.

On a good note, I've had the deep conviction today that I need go get into the Word much more and journal again. I'm excited about that. Also just watched "The Manchurain Candidate" and loved it! Immediately jumped up to on my my top movies.