I've had two fairly major revelations in my life in the past few days.

First, I realized that for me, God has become a concept to be known (in an academic sort of knowledge) and studied rather than a being to be worshipped. My heart desires to know Him more in an intimate way. I know that He desires relationship with me and really cares less about what I do for Him and more for how I give myself to Him. I know in my mind that ministry can be nothing but an overflow of our relationship with God, but in my life I try to do the opposite, make my relationship with God contingent on what I do for Him. I know that I need to get into the Word more and have more serious times of prayer. I'm reading a book right now for a class called "Contemplative Prayer" by Thomas Merton and one comment strikes me. A monk once asked St. Macarius how to pray and the response was epic, "It is not necessary to use many words. Only stretch out your arms and say: Lord, have pity on me as you desire and as you well know how! And if the enemy presses you hard say: Lord, come to my aid!" I guess the point here is not the length and wording of the prayer, it's the attitude of the heart that I need to work on and the desire to have intimate times with the Lord.

Second, I am finding more and more that I am trying to live this life in two worlds. Part of me desires to live in the Kingdom of God, the other part is pretty comfortable right here in the Western culture of the twenty-first century thank you very much! More than anything, I know and desire how fruitful and peaceful it is to live in God's Kingdom, to live by the principles Jesus set out in Matthew 5-7. But I am a worrywart, I worry about money, about security, about health and the things of this world. In my mind I know that my only security is in Christ, but when it plays out I put my hope in the things on earth. It's quite a journey I am on, I don't know where it will end, or even if this struggle will ever end. But I guess at least I do know that Jesus is Lord, that God is good, He is True, He is Just, and He is my Savior! The other things will fall into place if I remember this and to Love God and Love Others!

My professor included the following statement in his latest online weekly periodically "In Hope." Of course, the topic was the aftermath of Katrina. What I appreciate here is the need for us as Christians not to put our hope and security in this world, but the next. I wrote a week or so ago how I believe I would react different from those I see on the news, acting as if this were Armageddon. I can't say this for sure, but my hope is that I would set my sights on heaven and not on the depravity of this world.
If any of life's storms displaced us tomorrow - geographically, socially, and emotionally - how would we fare? Paul wrote, "We do not lose heart, for though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day." (2 Cor 4.16)
Is that true for you?

I sure hope so!

It's always nice to find articles backing up your thinking. The following link takes you to yet another article on why debt forgiveness and massive foreign aid is not necessarily the savior of third world countries.
http://www.escapeartist.com/efam/73/Thoughts_On_Foreign_Aid.html